Monday, 16 July 2012

He Said, She Said -- by Anne Shier


(from her first book "My Short Stories (Book One)", published in March 2011)

Doug and Kelly had known each other since high school.  They were the best of friends and shared everything together.  You couldn’t find a closer pair, but they weren’t really a couple.  Usually, they got along really well, talking things over whenever the mood hit them.  They loved each other as much as best friends do. 

However, each had his/her own “quirks” that were often very irritating to the other.  Being stubborn and pigheaded was Kelly’s purview and being hot-headed and sometimes, intentionally, hard of hearing (when he wanted to be) was Doug’s purview.  It sure made for some interesting interactions between the two.  As friends and roommates, they got along just great; as spouses (if it ever got that far!), they probably would have torn each other’s eyes out.  That just went to show that some people should never, ever get married.

Being roommates was okay though, as long as the lines were firmly drawn to indicate where each person’s “personal space” began and ended.  They each liked to have their own personal domain.  And, Doug and Kelly knew each other well enough to respect each other’s “personal space” and each individual’s need for freedom.

Doug loved his freedom, especially since the end of his long-term relationship with his girlfriend, Donna.  It had been trying to be with her, to say the least.  Donna was a bossy type of girl who liked to get her way.  Doug often got upset with her manipulative ways, but he did love her, in his own way.  Eventually, he could see that she was never going to change.  One day, he got thoroughly fed up, lost his temper with her, packed up his personal stuff at her place, and left her.  Unfortunately, he also left behind their daughter, Chloe, who was 10 years old at the time.  Doug had always been a devoted father to Chloe and that part did not change at all.  He had just decided that being in a long-term relationship with Donna, the “queen bitch of the Universe”, was more than he could take, and was not worth his time and energy.  But, he remained in close contact with Chloe whom he adored.  So, he wasn’t a bad father, just not as good an emotional risk as a partner in a male-female relationship.

Kelly loved her freedom just as much as Doug did, ever since she had obtained a divorce from her now-ex-husband, Brad.  Ironically, Brad had never acted as if Kelly’s happiness meant all that much to him.  He had been much more concerned with his own happiness.  After living with Brad for 3 years and suffering lots of mental anguish and living constantly on the brink of bankruptcy due to Brad’s lavish spending habits, Kelly had finally had enough and filed for divorce, citing mental cruelty as her grounds.  She vowed never again to get involved, long-term, with a man.  Marriage no longer looked like such an attractive option for her. 

Given the fact that Doug and Kelly each needed and loved their own personal freedom (meaning no complicated relationships!), it was a wonder that they got along together at all.  But, friendship between men and women is supposed to be different than marriage, isn’t it?  One doesn’t expect the same things (behaviour, attitude, and commitment) from a friend as from a spouse, right?  Friends should be able to say whatever is on their minds, in a somewhat diplomatic fashion of course.  Marriage partners, however, often like to torment each other – sometimes too much, for some reason.  One might even think that that’s a good definition of marriage – someone who shares your house, and your bed too (most of the time), and, in return, you make sure that they never forget who carries most of the load in the relationship.   Above all, if your spouse cheats on you, forgive the other party, but never, ever forget what they did.

So, when Doug and Kelly had a big discussion, one day, about the people who were in each other’s lives at the moment, it was kind of weird to hear them talking about this and would have been even weirder if they could have read each other’s minds too. 

About Rachel, Kelly’s friend, Kelly said to Doug, “You like her a lot, don’t you?”

To which Doug replied offhandedly, “Yeah, she’s nice and sort of pretty.”  Oh yeah, she’s hot stuff, alright!  I’d love to get to know her better, Doug thought.

About Rick, Doug’s friend, Doug said to Kelly, “ You don’t like him much, do you?”

To which Kelly replied, “He’d be a great friend if I just knew him a little better.” 
Over my dead body am I going to get to know him better! Kelly thought. 

About Kelly’s younger sister, Leigh, Kelly said to Doug, “You’d date my little sister if you thought I would approve, wouldn’t you?”

To which Doug replied, “I have a firm rule about dating any of your relatives or any other related family.” But, what you don’t know about my dates won’t hurt me, will it?” Doug thought.

About Doug’s older brother, Rod, Doug said to Kelly, “You’d rather date older men, wouldn’t you?”

To which Kelly replied, “Are you kidding?  I’ve always dated younger men!”  What you don’t know is that I’ve also dated older men too, once in a while!  Kelly thought.

About Kelly’s massage therapist, Roberto, Doug said to Kelly, “Do you have any rules about not dating the professional people in your life, like your therapist, Roberto, for example?”

To which Kelly replied, “Yes, I do.  I don’t think it’s a good idea to date my therapist or my doctor or my dentist.”  But, if he’s real cute and he likes me, who knows what may happen?  I need to keep my options open. Kelly thought.

About Doug’s dental hygienist, Sabrina, Kelly said to Doug, “Do you have any rules about not dating the professional people in your life, like your hygienist, Sabrina, that you seem to think is so cute?”

To which Doug replied, “Sabrina and I are not interested in dating each other, now or ever!”  And, that’s because we broke up last year after I dated her for a year, and that’s her tough luck! Doug thought.

Kelly then said to Doug, “Doug, I just adore you because you are so honest and you tell me the truth about your life and the important people in it.” 

To which Doug replied, “Well, Kelly, a person has to have a set of principles to live by.  It helps you to have principles to guide you through your daily life.”

Kelly thought,  Doug really is the best guy I know. 

And, Doug thought,  Kelly really is the best girl I know, but it definitely wouldn’t help my cause for her to know every single thing about me, would it?”






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