Living One Day at a Time -- by Anne Shier

(Inspired by an article in Canadian Immigrant [Ontario edition], March 2011.)

As a young girl, living in Szatmar, Hungary, in 1924, my whole family and I, who happened to be Hasidic Jews, were unfortunate enough to be shipped off by boxcar to the Nazi concentration camp in Auschwitz-Birkenau. I was just 19. My name was Ester Malek at the time, later to be changed. Of my entire immediate and extended family of 75 people, only my younger sister and I survived. The rest were exterminated in the gas chambers at Auschwitz, and then their bodies were burned in the ovens. Since then, I’ve learned to live my life one day at a time.

In 1945, I was freed from the concentration camp by British and Canadian troops and given the option of moving to Sweden (since I am of Swedish decent). Once back in Sweden, I met my future husband, Raul Elssen; at that time, I not only took on his last name, I changed my first name too. Thus, I became Evana Elssen. Later we came to Canada by boat in 1951 and moved to Toronto, Ontario. Eventually, we moved again north to Bracebridge, Ontario, and this is where we live, very happily, today.

The Holocaust left a deep and enduring mark on me, but I wanted to use this most painful experience to make a difference in the world and change the future somehow. In my view, the Nazis were “the ultimate bullies” who got away with it because no one would take any action against their attitude and behaviour. As I see it, that kind of attitude still persists today—in the form of genocide, bullying and intolerance. But how can there be any hope for the future unless we speak up against these violations of human rights? The idea that people have espoused since the time of the Nazi Holocaust (“Never again!”) is utter nonsense because bullying is still happening. When are we ever going to learn that these attitudes have not changed or disappeared?

I really feel that I survived for a reason. What I really wanted to do was to speak up against all forms of bullying; to make it my passion in life, my reason for living. Why? Someone had to speak up about it and who better to do it than me? I lost a major part of my family due to the Nazis’ hatred and bullying of Jews. Thus, I had a very compelling reason for speaking up and making people aware that they must also speak up against bullying. Otherwise, there would be no reason for those attitudes and behaviours to ever change.

The thing is, hatred transcends all boundaries of religion, skin colour and origin. Even if it doesn’t affect you today, it can definitely affect you sometime in the future. Personally, most of all, I want to ensure that history doesn’t repeat itself. We know we can’t change history, but what are we doing now to prevent history from happening all over again?

Not only is hatred a demon, but indifference is worse. People were (or seemed to be) indifferent while the Nazis grew in power. The bystanders were all silent while the power of the Nazis grew steadily, and millions of people suffered and died for their silence. If people want to have true meaning in their lives and be of good character, they have to speak up against intolerance of any kind: racism, bullying and hatred. That is the only way such attitudes and behaviours will change. So I made it my mission in life to do something to prevent a similar Holocaust from happening again.

The battle against racism, discrimination and bullying in schools is being fought as we speak, but there is never enough that we can do to prevent it from happening. Despite the schools’ Codes of Conduct that specify intolerance for such attitudes and behaviours, they are still going on—around the school, just off school property. The instigators of criminal incidents may not know that school administrators can do something about situations that happen off school grounds; these administrators are committed to getting the police involved whenever there have been rumours of a violent incident. The police know that bullying often happens after dark, in the woods, or when the video cameras are out of range. But, when assisted by the school and the community at large, the police can investigate any particular incident and charges can be laid against the perpetrators. Police action against “perps” can have serious ramifications for them when they are students in a high school; these students can be suspended or expelled from the particular school in which they are registered. This is done to protect the innocent staff and students from future harm.

Today, my purpose in life is to replace hate with love. I tell the students that I speak to that if they are really true Canadians, don’t tell me about it, show me the true Canadian values in your heart. There should be no room for bullying, only love.

At one time, I never thought I would have the courage to do what I’m doing now. It was through my youngest granddaughter, Brenna, that I got the opportunity to speak to her Grade 8 class about this very thing. Her teacher had invited me to come to her school and talk about my experiences at the death camp. It was the first time I’d ever spoken about it, and it was far more difficult than I’d imagined. Thinking about it is different from speaking about it. Hearing my own words was very painful. That was the starting point, and I wanted to keep going in this direction.

Over several years I’ve given more than 26,000 presentations to a wide-ranging audience of school children, educators, parents, armed forces personnel, police, churches and even the United Nations. If I drove 450 miles one way (to make a presentation), and I was lucky enough to affect one person, then it was worth the trip. I’d like to think of it as planting a positive seed (of change).

In addition to encouraging others to stand up to intolerance, I believe forgiveness is an attitude that has the power to change lives. If I didn’t forgive the Nazis, I would not be able to heal. I couldn’t change the past, so I had to learn to live with it. I had to release them from my soul. What they did has affected the second generation of our lives as well, but people also have to realize that ‘Every German was not a Nazi, and every Nazi was not a German’. Another thing: there are good and bad people everywhere. We can all do something to make a difference, no matter how small. Peace in the schools and in the community is really up to each one of us. My healing process began with the realization that I survived for a reason, and this is my true calling.

My advice to other immigrants? I would say you can’t have a future if you don’t deal with the past. Whether you’re a victim or know someone who is, speak up. Canada presents a wonderful opportunity to live a good life if you’re not afraid to work. Adapt to the Canadian way of life as soon as you can, and your immigration here will be easier.

         And to all Canadians I say remember—your ancestors were accepted into Canada, and you must pass on that acceptance. We have to treat each other as a people, and all it takes is a change in attitude.

copyright - Anne Shier, 2013, all rights reserved, published by Authorhouse, Bloomington, Indiana, USA