I’d always dreamed of being a teacher. It’s one of the
professions in which a woman can effectively compete with her male colleagues
and excel. At least it was until I met student “X” (a.k.a. Alex) in one of my
classes. This young man would make me seriously re-evaluate my decision to
become a teacher because he tested my patience each and every day, in each and
every way. And even though my other students were having no problems learning
the material I taught them, he gave me the distinct impression that no matter
what I said or how I said it, he was not going to be able to absorb it. That
didn’t mean he was stupid (I knew he wasn’t), but according to him, my
communication skills stank.
Every day without fail, during or after my
lesson he would say, “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. Make
some sense for once, will you?”
Student X was the “student from hell.” From the first day he walked through my
door, he showed me how obnoxious and rude a student could be. When I first
started teaching the Java computer programming language, I could tell it would
not be easy for anyone to get through the course. It was one of the first times
anyone was teaching Java in a high school and Alex’s first time taking it. It
was supposed to be a Grade 12 course, so I was to assume that these students already
had some programming background (in the Turing programming language). I felt
that I understood Java well enough to teach it, but I was prepared to teach
things more slowly if needed. I had to be able to accommodate my students’
needs as much as possible, since I knew it would be a struggle for them to
learn this new language in the assignments and projects that I would be giving
them.
You might wonder why I felt I had to put up
with Alex’s attitude and behaviour. The truth was I didn’t have to. Every day
and every time he was obnoxious to me, I responded in kind by pointing to the
door and offering him the opportunity to walk out anytime he wanted. I said
this to him in front of the whole class. I did not want him in my class at all.
I even told him I didn’t want to talk to him anymore either. If he wanted to
learn Java from me, I would teach it to a couple of his so-called “buddies” who
sat at the back of the class (that he could
relate to in a civil way) and that they could teach him what I had taught them.
Things went on this way, uneasily, for a while. It almost seemed bearable.
One day, he told me he was going to lodge a
complaint against me with the principal. I asked him what he wanted to complain
about, and he said he was going to tell the administration that I could not
teach Java “worth a damn” and that he objected to me as his teacher of this
course.
I thought, Okay, buddy, you want to fight … fine, let’s fight. But what you
don’t know is that I am very good at fighting and at winning arguments. I’ve
had far worse than you to deal with in the past.
I replied, “Just tell me when you want to
meet with the principal or vice principal and I’ll be there. I am more than
prepared to tell them the truth about who you really are in my classroom.”
I tried not to think about this upcoming
meeting that we were to have, but I couldn’t help but be a little nervous. When
the day came that I was to meet with Raymond, one of the vice principals, I
went into his office and sat down.
He greeted me affably enough and told me my
student would be with us shortly. Before the meeting started, I told Raymond
very calmly, “Yes, let’s do have a
meeting. We need to clear the air about a few things. But if he starts cussing
me out, I’m leaving. I am not putting up with his crap anymore, here or in my
classroom.”
To which Raymond replied, “No problem …
if he starts attacking you or behaving in some confrontational way, you just
leave.”
I thought, Does Raymond really mean that? I don’t think he knows anything about
Alex and what he’s capable of saying to or about me!
Soon Alex came in, and we sat in our
respective corners of the office, and Raymond said very reasonably to Alex, “Okay,
tell us what your problem with Ms. Sullivan is, and we will try to figure out
something that can solve your problem.”
Alex then said, “Well, let me start off by
saying that Ms. Sullivan is the worst teacher I’ve ever had. She has no idea
how to teach Java. I haven’t got the faintest idea of what she is teaching. It
all sounds like Greek to me.”
Raymond then turned to me and asked me what
I wanted to say.
I replied, “Alex, you have never even tried
to understand the Java language. Right from the very start, you have been
extremely rude and confrontational toward me even before I started to teach you anything. Maybe if you apologize to
me now and agree to apply yourself seriously to learning what I’ve been able to
teach everyone else in this class, you might be able to stay in my class, but
if Mr. Bowen here gives me the option, I will ask that you be removed from my
class right now.”
At this point, Alex completely lost his
temper and starting screaming obscenities at me. It happened to be lunchtime,
and lots of students and teachers were milling around the main office. They
couldn’t have helped but hear the ruckus.
I thought, This is a losing battle. I am leaving right now before I lose it!
I firmly said, “Well, I’m leaving!” And without another word, I walked out of
Raymond’s office with Alex still screaming at me at the top of his lungs.
I walked down the hall to the computer science
office, went inside and closed the door. I did not apologize to anyone about
what I had done. I felt I had done the only thing I could under the
circumstances. Experience had taught me long ago that I could argue with people in a sensible way as long as I stayed calm
and reasonable, but if I lost my temper, that would put me at a serious
disadvantage and I would probably lose the argument. In this case, since I did
not have any intention of losing this argument, I left. If the school board
wanted to discipline me in some way for not putting up with crap from this
student, so be it. Under those circumstances, I felt I would not have any
regrets about not being a teacher anymore. However, they would have a real
fight on their hands if they wanted to press the issue. So I decided to adopt a
“wait-and-see” attitude. Would the administration take Alex’s side or mine? Was
the administration going to stand up for one of its teachers or believe this
one student who had always been an obnoxious person at school?
Meanwhile, until I heard otherwise, I was
still the teacher of record of this particular programming course in Java, and
I was determined to get through it, one way or another.
As it happened, I was never disciplined or
even reprimanded for my actions that day. It seemed I had been one of the few
(if not the only) teacher to stand up to this punk kid who apparently thought
he could bully his way through school. None of his other teachers had ever
confronted him or the administration about his behaviour and attitude toward
teachers and other people in positions of authority over him.
When I think about it all now, I realize I
did the only thing I could. I had to stand up to Alex because if I didn’t, that
meant anyone could push me around anytime and get away with it. I was not about
to let that happen. I wanted everyone at school, especially the administration,
to know I was not going to be bullied by anyone and if they didn’t like it,
they could take up the matter with a judge in a court of law, as far as I was
concerned. No one has the right to make another person’s life miserable, and I
wanted to make a statement to that effect. I wanted the teachers and the
students and the administration to know I did the only thing I could to
maintain my dignity in a situation where my dignity was being severely
challenged. And I’m really glad I did.
copyright - Anne Shier, 2013, all rights reserved, published by Authorhouse, Bloomington, Indiana, USA
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