(Based on 2 DVD movies,
“Shall We Dance?”, 2009, and “Dirty Dancing”, 1987)
Don’t
you ever wonder why some people love to dance?
Or, conversely, why some people would rather do anything other than
dance? In my mind, it’s all in how you
see dance and what it represents. I am
convinced that dance was invented primarily to get men and women to mingle
socially and/or romantically. A couple
would get to know each other by being physically close to each other on the
dance floor, having the opportunity to talk or whisper together, sensing each
other’s body movements, and even smelling each other’s body odour. In this way, they could figure out whether
they wanted to get to know each other better.
You may think I’m kidding about this,
don’t you? Honestly, I’m not. I believe that the men and women of the world
who bond together the best are the ones whose relationships started out by
dancing. I see dancing as a sort of foreplay before sex, a way of getting to
know someone you might want to be with sexually. Since you don’t know anything at all yet
about this stranger, you might want to get close to him (if you’re a woman)
without getting involved until you know, at least, that you find his closeness
stimulating and arousing. If you like
his closeness, you might also find that you want more of it. And, pretty soon, you’re going out on dates
for dinner, to the theatre or just to do more dancing. Trust me - it doesn’t have nearly as much to
do with your love of dance as it does with your curiosity about members of the
opposite sex and where your interactions will lead.
That’s what makes it so much fun to get
to know other people. Imagine what it
would be like knowing everything a woman needed to know about a man right from
the beginning of a relationship. What
fun would it be to spend time with a man you already know everything about? It should be fun getting to know a person of
the opposite sex; that’s why dancing is fun.
You get the closeness that dance provides without the involvement. And, if dancing with him is fun, you’ll
probably want to do more of it with him.
Either you’re going to be a better dancer as a result, or you’ll get to
know your partner better, or both, if you’re really lucky. Or, sometimes, you may just want to dance for
dancing’s sake.
One of my favourite movies is called
“Shall We Dance?” starring Jennifer Lopez and Richard Gere. When I first bought the movie DVD, I thought
I would like it for a couple of reasons: 1) the male and female leads in it are
among my favourites, and 2) I love dancing and this movie is obviously about
dance. But, it turned out to be about
something I wasn’t expecting. The
leading man whose name is John Clark, played by Richard Gere, is a lawyer
leading a professional, but mundane life.
He has a loving wife and two beautiful teenaged children and he owns a
beautiful home. To all appearances, he’s
leading the “perfect life”. However, he’s
obviously looking for something that is missing in his “perfect life”, meaning
that there’s a void in it and he needs to find out what it will take to fill
that void. But, he has no idea what that
something is.
Then, one day, John looks up from his
seat on the L-train during his daily commute between work and home and sees a
young woman (Paulina, played by Jennifer Lopez) standing at the fifth floor window
of a school of dance called “Miss Mitzi’s Dance School”. There is a heart-rending sadness in her
facial expression; she looks like a lost soul standing there with her hands
resting on the window frame. Every day,
John looks for her face in the window, not really meaning to look for it, but
finding himself doing so whenever the train that he’s on passes by the dance
school. He finds himself being strangely
drawn to her sad, poignant expression and can’t help wondering why she looks
that way.
After seeing this young woman, Paulina,
several times just passively standing at the window, one day, he sees her
actively teaching people how to dance, and he, very impulsively, then gets off
the train and goes into the dance school.
He’s very nervous because he has no idea why he’s doing this. On his way up the stairs to the studio, he meets
a female dancer who trains there on a regular basis. This dancer’s name is Bobbie, played by Lisa
Ann Walter. Pretty soon, John finds
himself registering for dance classes on a weekly basis. Yet, he still doesn’t have any idea why he’s
doing it except that Paulina’s facial expression has drawn him there.
After several weeks of dance classes, he
finds himself becoming more and more drawn to Paulina, especially when, one
week, she is the designated instructor of the evening (usually it’s Miss
Mitzi, played by Anita Gillette) and he gets his very first opportunity to
dance the waltz with her. Everyone in
the room is mesmerized by their dance together, sensing a kind of chemistry
between them. Even Paulina, still very
much in her own world, also senses the chemistry that is generating between
John and her. At some point, when she
finds herself alone with him one day after class, he suggests an outing (a kind
of casual date) and she then gently discourages him from pursuing her. Now, John is the one who feels like a lost
soul. He doesn’t know whether he should
ever return to dance class again because of what Paulina has just said to him. The sadness he now feels is written all over
his face.
Only when he comes back to dance class
after staying away for a while, does he begin to realize how very much he
really loves to dance. Paulina also
senses that his return is not so much about her this time; it’s about his wish
to continue dancing. In actual fact,
it’s a little of both for John. It’s
true that he loves to dance, but it’s also true that he wants to see Paulina
again, even if he thinks she doesn’t want to see him.
When he gets a wonderful opportunity to
enter a regional dance competition due to Ms. Mitzi’s entrance of his name into
the contest, he finds himself in a total conundrum about it. He wants to dance because he’s become very
competent at the Standard dances like the waltz and the quick step, but doesn’t
feel very confident in the Latin dances like the “Paso Doble”. For some unknown reason, he doesn’t want to tell
his wife about any of his dancing activities.
Thus, she knows nothing about them or Paulina, at first. His wife, Beverly, played by Susan Sarandon, out
of curiosity and fear, finally hires a private detective to follow her husband
because she’s convinced he’s having an affair.
John finally decides that entering the
dance competition is what he really wants.
His partner will be Bobbie who is an expert dancer in all the dance
styles, but he’s not confident in anything but the Standard dances. Paulina then offers to help him build his
confidence by dancing with him one evening after dance class is over and
everyone has gone home. If an affair is
in the works, this is when it should happen.
However, John has now decided that having Paulina’s good will is more
important than a fly-by-night liaison with her.
They both respect and like each other by this time, even though there is
still this mysterious chemistry between them that neither can deny.
John Clark eventually learns, through
his love of dance, ultimately that he and his wife, Beverly, can share an
enriched marital relationship that includes dance, as well as, a lot of romance
that used to be missing. As a movie-goer
or video owner, one learns to appreciate what dance can do to enhance a
relationship between a man and a woman, and that’s exactly what it does in this
movie.
Obviously, dance is about much more than
the moves themselves. There are many
different ways to dance as a couple.
Ballroom Dancing, which is what “Shall We Dance?” is about, includes
dances like the waltz, quick step, tango, mambo, foxtrot, etc. Of these ballroom dances, I love the waltz,
the mambo, and the quick step, to name a few, even though I would consider
myself anything but an expert – I love learning new dances. I really love the Latin dances, however,
because they have such an emotional component – probably due to their romantic
origin.
Another one of my favourite movies is
called “Dirty Dancing”, starring Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze. From what I’ve read about Patrick Swayze, he
was an expert dancer in his day, which is obvious in the movie. He plays Johnny Castle, a very good looking
guy whose primary role is to teach women who stay for the summer at Kellerman’s
Mountain Resort how to dance. But, it
isn’t until he meets “Baby” (a.k.a. Frances) Houseman, played by Jennifer Grey
that he begins to realize that dance is about much more than just dance. It’s really a very intimate interaction
between a man and a woman. What starts
out to be a frustrating and trying set of lessons between Johnny and Baby,
becomes something very romantic and sensual between them. After a while, under his talented
instruction, she becomes a very competent dancer. Meanwhile, she was just supposed to fill in
for Penny, played by Cynthia Rhodes, whose job as a female dance instructor is to
be Johnny’s partner. But, Penny suddenly
finds that she needs someone to replace her temporarily when a medical
emergency arises and thus, she cannot fulfill all of her dance partnering obligations
with Johnny.
My own experience with dancing has
convinced me that dancing is a lot of fun, especially if you happen to meet
someone of the opposite sex who is as good as or better than you at dancing. Then, you can learn a lot more. In my mid-twenties, I once met a young man called
Raymond (pronounced Ramón) who taught me a lot about disco dancing as a couple
– something I’d never done before. I was
curious about what was involved. He
taught me many different moves, which I was more than willing to learn.
Raymond took me out to different dance
clubs and insisted that we show off what we could do. This never failed to embarrass me, even
though I was able to pull it off with him successfully several times. I was always deathly afraid that I would land
on my a**, since he was so good at throwing me around at different times during
our dancing. But, no matter what my
initial reservations about dancing in public places with him, he was a truly fantastic
dancer and instructor. The funny thing
is, he didn’t teach dance as his job; he just wanted to meet a good dance
partner, someone who was a willing student (namely, me). I asked him one day where he’d learned all of
his dance moves and he said he learned them all by watching various dance shows
on TV. After a while, he wanted to find
a willing female who would be receptive enough to his instructions. And, I turned out to be that one-in-a-million
person who was ready, willing and able to learn from him.
Thus, not only was he a fantastic
boyfriend to me, he was a truly terrific dancer and instructor. I will never forget him for that reason. I just wish that I could have kept dancing
with someone like him. Dancing has been
one of the most fun activities I’ve ever done either as a hobby, in dance
class, or just to have fun at a night club - not to mention the young men I’ve
met as a result of loving to dance.
There is nothing like dance to help you meet and mingle socially and
perhaps romantically with the opposite sex.
And, who knows where such a romantic interlude could lead?
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