Sunday, 14 September 2014

Chapter 5B - Alexandra Orlando's Life as a Young Female Athlete - by Anne Shier (a.k.a. "Annie")

(Based on the book “Breaking Through My Limits:  An Olympian Uncovered”,
copyright 2012, by Alexandra Orlando)

As related by Ms. Orlando (prior to the 2004 Olympic Qualifiers):

To be clear, I was muscular, almost 17 years old at 5’7” and about 130 pounds; which is pretty normal.  I’m not saying I came back grossly overweight for my age.  In fact, the very idea that I was “overweight” was disgusting and hysterical.  I can only see it like that now, years later after I’ve had time to come to as much peace as I can with what was done to me, and what I was made to believe. 

Unfortunately, for my sport, what you look like is just as important as what you do out there on the floor.  The typical rhythmic gymnast should be as tall and as skinny as she can possibly be:  a deadly stereotype that has driven girls to the hospital.  The top girls look more like starved ballerinas than athletes.  Even when my weight wasn’t an issue, I still never looked like that.  I always had muscle and a body type that was not accepted but tolerated.  Now, all of a sudden, after I just had the worst year of my life, not only was I not good enough to make it to the Olympics, but now I was too heavy to be competing for Canada.

I had come back to the gym in the fall with a few months to train before my first national competition in front of our whole community.  Until then, I loved being among my teammates from coast to coast, showing the judges and coaches how much I had improved and how much I wanted to be there vying for the top spot.  I was at my best when I was at a competition getting ready to do my thing; I lived to perform.  It was my time.

Within two seconds of walking into the gym, all eyes were on me.  I could hear the whispers, and feel the once-overs scanning me up and down, in shock at this new Alex.  “What happened?” was the question of the week.  My coach got attacked by everyone: parents, coaches and judges.  The looks of pity, sadness, and just plain confusion were priceless.  My confidence plummeted.  Hit rock bottom.  And then I had to squeeze myself into a skintight suit that left nothing to the imagination, and parade in front of hundreds of people who thought I was fat, and attempt to perform at my best.  That small pain inside my chest that day was just the start of a hole that was being created inside me; the beginning of the eventual damage it would all cause, leaving me hollow and empty inside.

After the competition was over, and I had won my second national title regardless of being so “overweight”, I couldn’t even be proud of it as I saw them come right for me:  coaches, judges and advisors.  All I remember from those “meetings” were certain words: “heavy”, “lose weight”, “eating habits”, etc.  I could barely look any of them in the eyes, and I sat there like a stone, head hung so low, biting back my tears and only moving slightly to lift my chest and take in small breaths.  But, I could never hold them back.

I began to look at myself differently from that very first day, and would never see my own beauty through my own eyes again.  It was gone, not that I didn’t try and fight them.  From that moment on, the conversation was always about my weight.  I saw their eyes on my thighs, my face.  It was as if they knew exactly where that pound I gained yesterday went on my body.  And, if I lost a pound, it didn’t matter because if it wasn’t 10 pounds, then it wasn’t worth a comment.  I would show up in the gym to train every day, and cringe as I rolled on my thin black tights, tiny shorts and sports bra.  Only this time, instead of the snug tank top I used to put on, I began to hide within my clothes, finding baggy t-shirts to throw on instead.  I would layer and layer to somehow shrink inside them:  thigh-high leg warmers, loose shirts…anything that hugged my curves was thrown under my bed and kept there.

My family must have seen what was going on, but what could they do?  I was a quiet, moody, private, high performance 16-year-old athlete.  I came home right after training, and the last thing I wanted to do was talk about my weight.  My mother saw the inevitable breakdown, and how it went from bad to worse faster than she could have imagined. There were too many triggers and emotional traumas to count, but enough to get me to a point where I hated myself, and where hurting myself seemed the only option.

Those first international competitions with “The New Alex” brought ever more attention and more pressure for my immediate weight loss.  There were no nutritionist consultations, no intelligent, healthy advice – just lose at least 5 kg by next week or the next competition.  It was as if I was supposed to change dramatically overnight.  With straight and absolutely dead serious faces, they would say that if I just at lettuce and some lean protein, then all our problems would be gone.  I wasn’t sure if they ever really cared about me as a person, or cared more about what I could do for them.  The future of our sport was on my shoulders, it seemed, and I felt the hawks hovering over me.

The funny thing was that I would never admit how deeply damaged I was.  My friends and family knew I was battling with my body, trying to lose weight and make everyone happy, and they were there for me in the only way they knew how to be.  My girlfriends would always watch me to make sure I was eating; and, if I wasn’t, they would gently confront me about it.  And I thank them for that.  It must’ve been so hard to watch me self-destruct, but also be so strong at the same time.  I got pretty good at making people think that everything was really “okay, I swear”.  It became a part of my life, a persona that I took on that hid my dirty little secret.

I poured my heart out in journals that I can’t even read today, and masked my problem from the world.  I would pretend that I didn’t care, getting angry instead of hurt in front of my teammates, and using an “I could care less” attitude in public when actually, all I cared about was my body.  I became obsessed with mirrors, trying to catch a glimpse of myself in windows, making sure I looked okay, that I was hiding myself, and that everything was perfectly in place.  I would spend hours devising outfits to look like I didn’t hate my body, when all I did was pick myself apart.  I was never happy with what I saw staring back at me.  Shopping became a horror where I hated anything I put on and overanalyzed the sizes.  Nothing was ever good enough, and I couldn’t lose weight as fast as I wanted, and didn’t understand why it was so hard.

I would stand in front of my mirror at home pinching my fat, sucking everything in and imagining what it would be like if I was that thin.  I would take pictures of myself and compare them from week to week, getting a sick pleasure out of seeing my body shrink in front of my eyes, only to gain it all back in a few days.  This was my crash diet phase.  All I could think of was how to lose weight.  It consumed me.  All the while, I was training like a maniac and starting university, thrown into a new world of pressures to face.  I read every magazine, every article, every piece of advice on speeding up your metabolism, shrinking sizes and dropping weight.  I would see my girlfriends around me able to do it, so why couldn’t I?  It was infuriating to wake up every day and hate myself, never wearing jeans because it showed too much of my body.  Long sweaters became my life.

(to be continued in Part C)

copyright 2014, Anne Shier.  All rights reserved.



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